I had this idea, this design for how I was going to write out the summary to everything that I’ve gone through and experienced this year – the places it took me and the things I’ve felt and encountered are already well documented, but I felt like there was no resolution the way there is at the end of the novel I wrote about it all. In some respects, I felt it was important to keep the story tidy and neat, find a way to convey to the few people who might have been reading about what I’ve been doing on the road, where my heart has wandered. To me, it was an important and impactful experience, there was so much involved, at stake, and affected by the circumstances. Matters of my heart, my mind, and the direction of my life.
But with that last moment I left off, of leaving Atlanta after seeing Bluebird, so much has happened so fast, I haven’t had much time to write for myself. I got back to Alaska and went to go climbing in Denali with my ex-wife. And I only call her that because otherwise you would not know the significance of the experience. It was one of the greatest loves of my life. I mean, I married her, of course it was. But after the divorce there was a lot of pain and details that made my life complicated. Complicated is a very slight way of saying it. There is so much more than that, so many variables. These details made it into the book, but before I could blog about it all, I was off to Mongolia, back again with my job as a journalist.
In Ulaanbaatar, I spent a little over three weeks reporting for the second time on a United Nations humanitarian exercise that was taking place there. In that time, quite naturally, I had a great deal of impactful experiences… go figure, right? But then, I got deathly ill, and spent days in the ger (which is their version of a yurt) recovering from my illness, and not without folly. During an intense windstorm, my ger collapsed on me and I was moved to a more stable building while the antibiotics worked their way into my system. It was a rough ride, and those details, like everything above, will come up now that I’m back in a place where I can write.
But, after getting stuck because of circumstances in Mongolia for three days longer than anticipated, I finally got back to Alaska, and then turned around and went back down to San Francisco. Right now, I just got off the plane from San Francisco, once again, back in Alaska.
So much has evolved in my heart and my life, I have learned more this year than I have, I feel, in any other part of my life. And now, everything appears to me as motion, as the river. In time, I will sort it out and make it linear, and I’m excited to have the time and the empty calendar to do so, at least for the next six or so months, anyway. There are more trips in the pipeline, though nothing completely solidified. Right now, I’m not much worried either way. I am road weary, tired, happy, and full of too many things to put down this very moment. Crazy life, and I think I’m pretty fortunate. Even if I’m a poor dirtbag.